Never Back Down
It is now mid-May. We are in the midst of a global pandemic. I am of an age where I can no longer abide others wasting oh-so-precious time in my life. I have no patience for the mundane. Everything feels balanced on a sharp precipice, quivering with the weight of gravity, ready to collapse at any moment. Perhaps a collapse could be good. More likely, it wouldn't be. It doesn't tend to work that way.
Amid this tumultuous moment of history, my novel was published. It was released smack dab in the middle of self-isolating stay-at-home orders. Unfortunate timing, but hey, there are more important things to worry about. Now, almost a month after the release, I have received some feedback about the work that consumed 4 years of my life (3 to write, another to get it published). Some love it. Some hate it. I'm totally fine with that. My writing has never been for everyone.
The part of this process that has surprised me, when I thought I could no longer possibly be surprised by it, is the sheer rudeness of some people. Okay, so strangers have been rude - not surprising. There will always be some troll on the internet who cannot help but feel some might or power behind his or her keyboard. And even for those who genuinely hate what they read. That's fine. The surprising rudeness has come from those close to me. Even more surprising is that they wrapped it up in love, donned with a bow of helpfulness. I therefore tore open the metaphorical package, filled with delight and pleasure, only to be shocked at the contents of it, hiding my disappointment in an attempt to spare feelings, an action not performed by themselves in the giving of it.
For my family members to take the time to purchase the book, then actually read the thing, is loving and generous of their own oh-so-valuable time. They were excited for me. Proud, even. It was wonderful. Supportive. Kind.
But then.
To read it and immediately provide unsolicited feedback that was negative surprised me. The guilty parties, even now, think they did me a favor in providing "constructive criticism," right along with their accolades and compliments. THEN, they posted the negative feedback, along with the positive, all over review sites. WHY?!
That is the part that throws me. The editing process is over. The book is released. It's done. The book is what it is. By pointing out its flaws, the only thing being accomplished is making me worry about them and discouraging others from forming their own opinions. I appreciate that these family members feel close enough to me for honesty, but I just cannot wrap my mind around why they felt the necessity. What would have been the harm in just being proud? Just leaving it at the positives? Why MUST the negatives ALWAYS even out the positives, as if there is some unspoken rule against simple support? If the book is garbage, fine. Just don't say anything or provide some platitude, but to act like you truly liked it, only to follow that up with a litany of critique baffles me.
That whole thing has made me mad, and as such, I'm more committed than ever to staying the course. I must continue on, keep writing, keep sharing my words. If you are still reading this post, my point is this: NEVER BACK DOWN. Never let anyone, no matter who they are to you, make you feel less than you know yourself to be. If you have a passion, a talent, it is your duty to the rest of us to chase that bad boy down like a hound on the scent. Please don't give up. It simply isn't an easy journey for some of us. That doesn't mean we stop. It just means we have to try harder.
