The dark silence

It is the silence that drapes like a dark velvet curtain

with the settling of night

that can no longer keep quiet

the storm inside of me.

The days are light and laughter and loud distractions.

During the day, I can pretend I'm okay.

But the nightfall sits, stinging and judgemental.

There are no explanations, no justifications

that don't seem sour on that silence.

The wall of once was weighs on my chest

like a bag of bricks and I can't breathe.

I can't see anything but him.

How could it be that he is not here?

How did it not unfold

that he would hold me in this darkness

and fill the silence with sweet whispers

and shared secrets?

He was to be that soft candle light

that allows me to see, to know where I am going.

Even the stars seem so far away.

Only in the night can I not deny

that I am completely alone.